St. Peter’s has been, and continues to be, an incredible blessing to me and my family. From the time I arrived here 11 years ago, I have been edified and supported as I have seen the great faith and witness of so many. Indeed, St. Peter’s has played a very large role in helping me become the husband, father, and ultimately man I am. Admittedly, still a work in progress! But a better one then I would be otherwise!
Because of my gratitude to so many and the spiritual closeness I have with you, it is my joy to share the news that I have been officially accepted into the Diaconate Program for the Diocese of LaCrosse as an Aspirant. This is the first step in what is a 5-year program to discern a vocation to the diaconate.
It is utterly amazing and humbling to see how our Lord works. To be honest, the diaconate was not something that I had considered in any way, shape, or form! This journey began in a certain sense last summer when I felt a prompting to deepen my understanding of the Holy Spirit. I read through Pope John Paul II’s encyclical on the Holy Spirit, “Lord and Giver of Life.” This lead me to make an appointment with my spiritual director to talk about going deeper in my prayer life. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, a deepening prayer life is a typical action of the Holy Spirit. At the end of our conversation, my spiritual director asked if I had ever considered the diaconate. This indeed caught me by surprise, as I hadn’t! Following that conversation, the idea of the diaconate kept coming up in various conversations with unrelated people, to the point that I knew I needed to investigate it. Ray Heitzinger, who God-willing will be ordained a deacon in one year, has certainly been an incredible blessing and example in this process. In talking to various priests, including our own Fathers Robert Schaller and Louis, along with various deacons, all were supportive and encouraging toward actively seeking where God is calling.
My concerns during this initial step were that “I’m a young man”, “I have a young family”, and “I don’t have any time as it is”! Indeed, my initial fear was that the diaconate might harm my family life or take away from it. Interestingly, it was an article in “Columbia” magazine by the Knights of Columbus that changed my view. Columbia always features a vocation story on their back page. The December issue featured a young man just ordained the priesthood. His brother is also a seminarian. His Dad? A Deacon. I realized at that point, that the diaconate can actually be a blessing to family life and even enhance it as the man becomes more closely configured to Christ.
The next step was a discernment retreat in March sponsored by the diocese for men and their wives who were considering the diaconate. The retreat was deeply moving and confirming. The talks, including one by Fr. Louis on the “Deacon as the Icon of Christ the Servant”, left me shaking as I pondered the immensity of this possible call. Patty and I walked away from the retreat amazed and overwhelmed. She, in fact was completely convinced of the blessing the process would be for our family as we sought to grow closer to Christ, even if, in fact, I do not end up becoming a deacon. I was more overwhelmed, but unable to dispute the growing body of evidence.
After the retreat, I filled out a 48 page application (they don’t make the process easy!), secured letters of recommendation from Fr. Schaller, Fr. Louis, Ray Heitzinger and Fr. Joseph Diermeier and then waited. In mid-June, Patty and I went before a Diocesan Board of Admission for an interview. And on Thursday, July 28th, I received official word of acceptance into the program.
There is of course, no guarantee that in 5 years I’m called to be a deacon or that I’ll be ordained. it is an ongoing process of formation and discernment. There are many opportunities for evaluation and discernment for both the diocese and the man as they make sure this is where God is pointing. Nonetheless, it is very clear this is where I’m supposed to go next at this moment in time. As the priests and deacons charged with overseeing the program have told us over and over, “If God opens a door, you walk through.” Where it leads, only God knows, our task is but to follow where He points!
The process of formation begins at the end of August and will take place one weekend a month. In addition, as I already have a master’s degree in Theology, the diocese is investigating sending me for another degree or even STL (Sacred Theology Licentiate). My busy schedule is about to get busier!
It’s been a pretty amazing journey thus far as again, it was not something I was looking for or expecting. Then again, that is how God often works in our lives isn’t it? There have been so many confirming signs and blessings, far too many to mention in a short bulletin column. It is certainly an amazing time, filled with both joy and a good deal of trepidation, as I see very concretely God touching my own insignificant life—asking why me, not knowing how this will all work out, but ultimately humbled, overwhelmed and awed by it all.
It is with great joy that I’m happy to share this with you. I have received so much love and support from so many here and am hopeful that I have been able to return that love and support in equal measure. Please pray for me as I begin this process while I continue on here at St. Peter’s.
With love and prayers in Christ,
Phil Lawson
Director of Catechesis & Evangelization